Wednesday, September 29, 2010

The truth about the truth

Lying is bad. Or so we are told constantly from birth; "The truth shall set you free." "Honesty is the best policy." The fact is lying is necessary for our survival. We lie to ourselves because the truth freaking hurts.

As kids we still have the luxury of blabbering out the brutal truth without even hesitating. We point at funny looking people, we ask inappropriate questions in public and we simply just don't know how to keep secrets yet. In today's world honesty is really just another level of being childish.

I've heard that it's possible to grow up, I've just never met anyone who's actually achieved that. Without parents to defy we decide to make new rules for ourselves and only so we could break them. We throw outbursts of rage when things don't go our way, we whisper secrets to our best friends in the dark, we look for comfort where we can find it and against all logic and all experience; like children, we never give up hope.

In the world of today the primary key to surviving seems to be denial, just another form of lying. We deny that we're tired or scared, we deny we have dreams or how badly we want to succeed and we apologize for tears instead of demanding apologies from the people causing them. Most importantly we even deny that we're in denial. We only see what we want to see and believe what we want to believe, we lie to ourselves so much that after a while the lies start to seem like the truth. We deny so much that we can't recognize the truth even if it's right in front of our faces.

In the end, the reality sometimes has a way of sneaking up on us and biting us in the ass. The world of pretend is a cage in where we can only lie to ourselves for so long. Despite whatever we tell ourselves we are tired and we are scared and deep inside we know that denying that doesn't change the truth. Sooner or later we have to put aside our denial and face the world. Head on, guns blazing.

Or not.

Because the truth is painful. Deep down no one wants to hear it, especially when it hits close to home. Sometimes we tell the truth because we need to say it out loud to really hear it for ourselves and sometimes we even tell the truth because we just can't help ourselves anymore. Sometimes we tell the truth because we owe someone at least that much.

People say they want the truth but do we really? No matter how hard we try to ignore or deny it, eventually the lies fall away. But here's the truth about the truth: it hurts. So we lie.