Monday, December 26, 2011

Yes and No work the best if they both exist

Ever since I can remember, I have been the yes-yes-girl. I've always been the person who's scared to contradict in a conversation or to speak up if I feel like I'm being treated wrong. The sad fact is I like pleasing other people not to be accepted per se but to see other people happy. I love it when people smile and I like to help people out and do nice things for them even without personal gain. I like being liked and it's easier to be in good terms with absolutely everyone than to break off a friendship just because you feel that person is treating you like an asshole.

It's easier, so that's what I've done for all my life. Tagged along with other people trying to fit in sometimes succeeding in it and at times not so much. Sounds awful but the fact is that it has worked well. Never in my life have I lost friends after a fight and never have I infected a friendship with negativity. I've always been in good terms with everyone. Why wouldn't I be? I'm the yes-yes-girl, I'm your best friend and I will agree with you.

Until I started to say; No.

I got tired of getting hurt. I got tired of doing things for other people and getting nothing back. Even though I never did good things just because I expected to get something in return - I hate when people do that - but in general I do expect to be respected like a decent human being, especially if I do something nice for you.

I've learned that people really don't like the word No. I've lost so many friends - even the best ones - after I started saying the it. With that word I became an actual person with actual opinions of my own who actually had developed an ability to stand up for herself and to disagree with others. As I turned from the yes-yes-girl to the yes-no-girl, a whole person, an actual human being instead of a puppet people started to disappear because I didn't agree with everything they said anymore. I wasn't a reflection of them anymore.

There's no since of surrounding yourself only with people who are exactly like you. I promise you your life will be so much richer when you learn to listen, pick up on all sorts of opinions and expand your view of the world. If you only surround yourself with people who agree with you you're surrounding yourself with... well, you.