I decided to start keeping a notebook journal again and as I dug it out of the closet, I found the latest entry to be the New Year's resolution list for 2012. I was so happy to notice I got to check out so many of the resolution off already.
I made new lists too. I like lists... One was for five things I'm the most scared of in my life. The other one is for my hopes and dreamd and what I wish to accomplish in my life. I figured if I ever feel like a complete lost cause I can just check back on the lists and if I haven't completely fucked up all of it, I still have hope. Hope. What a wonderful word.
5 things I am the most terrified of
1. Hurting other people (and not caring).
2. Becoming a) cold b) cynical c) truly shallow.
3. Not making a difference in this world (failing).
4. Being too selfish.
5 things I want the most
1. To love and be loved.*
2. To find peace and true happiness.
3. Stay true to myself.
4. Help others.
5. Leave behind a better world.
* I want that great, everlasting, undeniable, irreversible, passionate, hopeless, epic, undescribeable love that great love books and movies are made of. I want to be so naively and ridicilously in love with someone that I don't care what anyone else thinks and I want that person to love me just as much. Preferably more.